House husbands: How well do they cope?

It is undoubtedly not easy to raise children and run a house hold. Many men have in the past doubted the amount of time and effort it takes to cope and have been somehow reluctant to provide women with the necessary help it takes to take over. However, men of the 21st century have proved to have evolved and turned in to a new and completely different breed. Since the new millennium, I suppose, when I actually realized that problem children responded well to their father taking a proactive interest in them, therefore fathers have lately increasingly become much involved in the daily care of their children, since the day they were born and from there onwards.

by Ale-Esi Makgekgenene

Until today, men seem quite comfortable and have suddenly realized their dormant potential and that it is in their capability to take over, as the main caretakers for their children.

Such types of men need as much determination as possible, it is yet to become supposedly normal for men to be staying at home looking after children, but the main problem is that they are males working in a female conquered and dominated world.

Some fathers have, however, turned the tables to looking after the children while their women continue working. With regard to playing and fulfilling an unconventional role, Batswana house husbands in return get disapproval from other people and the critical skepticism somehow comes, especially from amongst relatives and associated male friends.

Having spoken to one father, Karabo, he said that his friends did not consider him being a successful househusband, by all means.

Generally, if there are ever any, househusbands are rejected and therefore isolated as women feel threatened by them and, as such, they are reluctant to include them in children afternoon activities at nursery and pre-schools alike. Some women even go as far as calling them names.

I have also spoken to Morebodi, who said he tried taking his son Gape to a play group, but it was too embarrassing for him because as he walked in, the women who were there stopped talking in groups and just stared at him.

As fathers, men are not by any way accepted as equals in the child care industry. Not even referred to as good baby sitters, they are even denied credit of how well they cope. While out with the children, they are more likely to be approached by other women, insisting on wrapping up a child in this hot weather or parenting skills such as shutting up a yelling, shrieking child with a sausage before you get to the counter.

Since men are so sensitive to criticism and somehow feel that they are treated like child abductors or kidnappers, they tend to work even harder to gain genuine recognition as a dividend, besides the fact that in our society men are raised to be masculine and become breadwinners for their families.
It's a double edged blade.

On the other hand the typical working woman is, however, not necessarily willing to support her husband. She may definitely find it ethnocentrically hard to actually accept men in a domestic role and does not cater for all his worries and personal shortcomings.

Even worse, she gets hurt if the children willingly go to their father after an argument or quarrel when in need of comfort. This, together with continuously or rather persistently and professionally being away from home and from the children, may lead to her being resentful and unable to support.

It must be a very unbearable and stressful problem when coping with an emotional, anxious and exhausted woman for today's househusbands.

Although these problems are infinite and indeed very complex, problems need to be accepted and, as such, many cases can be simply resolved. Once we learn to accept these problems, men will not only make good primary parents, but will enjoy it too at the same time. For most women, this is your only chance to pursue a rewarding career.

We need to accept each other as individuals, but it naturally becomes ethnocentrically normal for a man to remain at home with the children while the wife drives off to work.

House husbands are definitely bound to meet some of the above mentioned problems.


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